Monday, October 04, 2004

John Kerry: The Secret Cheat Sheet Edition.



On September 30th, Presidential nominee John Kerry faced off with George W. Bush for 90 minutes, tackling issues like foreign policy and the war in Iraq.

Days later, conservative bloggers and the media alike (particularly Fox News) took to the notion that John Kerry had used cheat sheets in the debate, which was against the rules. What did the cheat sheets say? What kind of information was printed on them to assist him on edging out a win on the debate? The minds on The Backlot put together a pretty solid list of what they may have contained:

“Appeal to the troops by offering an extra Heinz ketchup packet with their rations.”

“Whatever I do, don’t mention 87 billion dollars.”

“If I get nervous, imagine Dubya in his underwear and an oversized novelty cowboy hat.”

"Don't let the people forget: I served in Vietnam and earned 3 Purple Hearts."

“Remember: Teresa will kick my ass if I loose.”

"I'm going to Waffle House if I win this debate"

“Even if I suck, at least I'm not George W. Bush.”

“Whatever I do, don't mention what I have invented.”

“Remember: I'm behind a podium. Nobody can see my erection when I see John Edwards in the crowd (or for that matter, the Bush twins).”

“Mention that this is the wrong war, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, because Swift Boats can’t go on sand.”

“Remember: No matter how hard I lie, people cannot tell, for my face doesn’t move anymore.”

“Thank God Ralph Nader isn’t here.”

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet! Very good commentary. Two thumbs up.

October 6, 2004 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger None said...

Thanks! I think Dick Cheney had some cards in the VP debate, we're still looking into that one! :)

October 6, 2004 at 10:35 AM  

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